Human beings can be messy. Sometimes even when we keep things orderly in our external environments, internally we remain messy. Thoughts go one way, feelings go another. Ambivalence hampers taking action. Confusion can rule the day. Doubts may assail us. We say one thing but do another and we wonder why others consider us to be unreliable, inconsistent, incongruent, or out of alignment. The inner child wants comfort, a sweet to make us feel good for the moment, hugs and affection, perhaps freedom to scream or yell, perhaps to smash something. The adult wants something else, control, sobriety, piousness, a stiff upper lip, a clear focus, a serious conversation, discernment.
These turbulent times call for getting our ducks in a row. But how? Are we just too divided, too nuts, too confused? For most of us this is quite difficult to discern because emotions, personal prejudices and judgments get in the way. Whose voice is running me right now? Who should I be listening to? Worry? Panic? Focus? Transcend? Get serious? Chuckle? Perhaps it’s all just too much at times. Maybe we are seen by others as inconsistent because we are inconsistent. Aahhh. We reach for self-deception. That is perhaps the ticket. Why bother with the truth anyway? Just pretend we are fine with our misalignments and lack of cohesiveness. Just lie to ourselves and everyone else. Who cares? But that will only carry us briefly, just till tomorrow or the middle of the night when chickens come home to roost and the truth bubbles inconveniently to the surface to torture us. Oh my! There is no permanent escape. Just more darting about looking for answers that we often don’t want to hear.
Yes! Might as well admit it. We are inconsistent and unruly creatures much of the time and tortured by it. Is that the end of the story? Of course not. All this inconsistency is part of a larger pattern, that we don’t like to experience our experience, so we seek to avoid the temporary discomfort of what we feel by any means possible and this leads to suffering unbearably. That sentence deserves to be read again because it is at the heart of our misalignment with ourselves. This of course is an ego problem and therefore a parasite within each of us. Yes, a healthy ego is required when we have a body to manage and navigate within this world. It scans for safety and keeps us alive long enough to have adventures and experiences galore. The problem is that it does not stay in its own lane and seeks to expand its terrain and control to all aspects of life becoming a tyrant in the process. Like most politicians it has a strategy to accomplish this. It uses fear as a cudgel to intimidate us about nearly everything. It wants us to be weakened by worry, anxiety, and depression. Then it can bait and switch with promises to solve the fear with false hope, reliance on addictions and distractions that create temporary gratification that give it control over its ever-increasing domination of our physical lives. This is brilliant in strategy but bad news for our fulfillment and ultimate joy and satisfaction.
The ego is not inherently ‘bad’, in much the same way as a two-year old child is not inherently ‘bad’. But when that two-year old exerts its tyranny, this can feel bad for the adults and it needs to be addressed. The temporary ego that comes with the body needs to be guided back to its primary job of keeping our bodies safe and healthy. When a parent finds their two-year old is just too much to handle they can naturally ask for help from a spouse, a relative, or a child psychologist. Caring for our own egos is no different. When the ego or false personality gets out of control we can similarly ask for help. One possibility is requesting the help of a competent therapist or perhaps a wise spiritual teacher. Another or concomitant source of help is Spirit itself, aways present, always ready to help if we are serious about putting that help into action. Spirit includes all our guides, allies, and helping spirits.
The first order of business is to get into alignment with Spirit and therefore with all guides and helpers. That is much easier than most people imagine. Your intention is all important. Simply stating with authority that you are now in alignment with Spirit is a good beginning. Then requesting Spirit to come into alignment with you is a good next step. Alignment is a two-way street, it is aligned with you, you are aligned with it. Once you are in alignment there is an immediate difference just as it is immediately noticeable when you have had the wheels on your car aligned. You feel the difference and there is a calm certainty that you are now in good hands and things will go well. If you do not feel this way then it is obvious you are not in alignment. Like so many things, mastery of this takes practice.
None of this process is particularly logical and none of it makes rational sense, yet it is true and reliable. How do you know it is true? You just know without doubt, anxiety, or confusion. How do you know your blood is running in your veins right now? How do you know you are receiving oxygen? How do you know you are walking, sitting, bending over? How do you know you are alive right now? You just know it.
So let us get back to alignment, consistency, congruency, and harmony. Expecting others to behave impeccably when we do not is inconsistent. Attacking others is not in harmony with Spirit. Being holier than thou is not congruent with any relationship. Demanding that others conform to what we think they should be does not lead to cohesiveness. Why? Because these ways of being are born of rigidity, the wish for control over the chaos that makes us so uncomfortable. The alternative is merely observation of what things are unfolding in real time. Oh! Look at this. I am touching this. I am smelling this. I am feeling this.
Being in alignment, being congruent, being consistent and in harmony with, feels good. Not being these things does not feel good, leads to anxiety, doubt, leads to discomfort. That is why we seek to avoid discomfort. However, escaping discomfort does not solve anything. It is only by being aware of our discomfort and being willing to study it that helps us to discover that we are out of alignment and reminds us that we need to get in harmony with Spirit. The small self, ego, needs to be alignment with big self, Essence, for good feelings to return. This is actually very simple but simplicity often eludes us when we expect things to be complicated and obscure.
Telling the truth always leads to alignment. Lying to yourself always leads to misalignment and the resulting discomfort of feeling separate and afraid. How do you know you are lying to yourself? It doesn’t ultimately feel good. It does not heal your fear, your anxiety, your sense of disconnection. You can run and run and run away but you will not escape the misalignment. You can blame and blame and judge but this will not cure your inconsistency and disharmony. You can be as self-important and pious as you like but this will not help you be congruent and cohesive. You can be as rebellious and stubborn as you wish but this will not lead to alignment ever. You can feel as victimized as you want and never arrive at what will cure your sense of separation. What does lead to alignment is humility, a willingness to surrender your resistance to discomfort, and a genuine curiosity about what is actually true and what is false.
Alignment is seeing the world as it is, an expression of Spirit reflecting back your own light. Consistency is seeing that there is no exception to this phenomenon. Congruence is seeing yourself (big Self) in everything and seeing everything (Spirit) in yourself. Harmony is perceiving that life is one song with many voices, many pitches. Cohesiveness is feeling connected: being in the vast community, the web of life, the one song sung.